Some Things My Therapist Told Me To Do For Certain
My therapist never shared much about herself with me, obviously. I would go to my sessions at her house, local to where I lived. She had a London terraced Victorian-style house and the room we had our sessions in was at the top of the stairs on the first floor.
So when she opened the door, I’d go straight up into that room. I probably went up those stairs and into that room over 100 times over the few years I had therapy and I couldn’t even tell you what colour the walls were. This makes sense during the first few months of our sessions because I was in such a state of terror and disarray.
My body language was tense and closed off and I’d sit on the couch in that room clinging to my water bottle and pack of tissues. During these first few sessions, we would spend most our time simply trying to get me out of this state of terror by encouraging me to breathe, feel my feet on the floor and my body in space. Something as a movement teacher and mover my whole life had become so foreign to me.
But slowly and gently, my state of mind improved and my body loosened up. And I started to observe the room and the world around me. And what I noticed was that…
…she had a cat.
The cat would come in and out of the room in our sessions and often sit with my therapist but sometimes the cat would come over to the couch and sit with me. My therapist told me “she doesn’t really do that with other clients.”, perhaps she said that to everyone but it definitely made me feel good. The cat had chosen me. Maybe I was giving off some friendly special cat vibes that only the cat could pick up on. This is what I like to tell myself.
Anyway, during one session, at least a year or so into our sessions together, I asked my therapist, “what is the cat’s name?”. It was the first time I had ever seen doubt or hesitation in my therapist’s face. It was quite unnerving to be honest. My therapist was meant to be this safe, honest, neutral person and I knew, in my gut, that she didn’t want to tell me the cat’s name.
My therapist paused, for a long time, as they do. And she replied “Mr Whiskers”, now there is no way not one ounce of me believed that that cat’s name was Mr Whiskers. I’m sorry but do we really name our cat’s Mr Whiskers? I feel like that’s like me naming Lenny, my dog, Mr Wagging Tail.
Maybe I read it all wrong and maybe she was being completely honest and the cat’s name really was Mr Whiskers but I never felt the same again about the cat or my therapist. I knew our sessions together were coming to an end anyway. I was moving on to a new phase of my life and I still love them both to bits in a way you appreciate a teacher that got you through a difficult A level exam but I always feel like she lied to me about that cat’s name.
However what I’m really here to share with you are two things that this therapist told me to do for certain and they have impacted my life and improved my mental health exponentially. One of these things is a lot more do-able and one is quite an out there thing for a therapist to say so take with a pinch of salt.
Make sure your eyes see green every. single. day.
This therapist simply said to me that my eyes, every single day, need to go outside and see green - in the way nature intended. Green trees, green grass, green leaves, green green green.
I grew up in London and have lived here for 33 years so it’s very normal for our lives here to be grey grey grey. We go from a street full of houses, to a train, to an office or studio, to a coffee shop, back home to our street.
Going for a walk for no reason, not to get from a to b, kind of wasn’t a thing until this conversation. For over 5 years now, I simply walk in my beautiful local park every single day for no other reason than to see green.
When we were looking for our new house to buy, I drew a small radius around the park because it was so important, essential, necessary for it to be on my doorstep.
This is also why I’ve just created my own beautiful green oasis in my back garden. More of that in another post.
So I pose the daily question just as much as - have you eaten your greens? - Have you seen your green?
2. Get a pet.
Okay so this is the second most important thing she said to me. She wasn’t as direct as that and perhaps it’s because of the whole cat incident but she once said to me “you would do really well indeed if you had a cat or dog to look after.” Yes I instantly thought, that is what I’ll do and all will be well.
I don’t think anyone had in mind, getting a puppy at 6 months pregnant but that’s what happened.
And honestly Lenny in my life, on a day to day level, makes everything just that little bit okay.
So here’s me and Lenny in the park. Seeing beautiful green with my beautiful Len. My new therapy.
