Lottie’s Pregnancy Q&A
Please note that I am not a doctor, midwife or pregnancy specialist. All the answers below are my own personal experience and you should always seek your own professional advice. Some questions asked are heavier than others but I hope you enjoy reading a little insight into my own experience of pregnancy. I completely acknowledge my privilege to have fallen pregnant naturally and to have access to incredible support through the NHS and privately. Sending so much love to anyone on their own journey.
How has your anxiety been with pregnancy?
I have Generalised Anxiety Disorder and OCD which I’ve taken medication for on and off since 2019. During my therapy sessions over the years, being pregnant and being a mother has always been a concern I’ve bought up… “will I be okay to get pregnant with my mental health conditions?”, “am I more prone to postnatal depression?”, “can I be on medication while pregnant?”, “will I be a good mother?”.
I decided to start seeing a specialist perinatal psychiatrist a year before I wanted to conceive in order to make the best decisions for myself. She provided me research and her own knowledge surrounding the medication I take and we decided ultimately to continue with my medication but to try to lower my dosage slightly. When I fell pregnant I wasn’t at the lowest dosage possible but we decided to stick and maintain that dosage moving forwards in the pregnancy to avoid any fluctuations and I am so grateful that my mental health has felt stable throughout this pregnancy.
Whether it’s the medication, the hormones or simply myself, I’ve honestly felt the best I’ve felt in years with my anxiety. I feel able to manage situations out of my control, I’ve felt calm in all my midwife appointments and hospital scans even when we’ve had a few concerns raised and I’ve felt able to make decisions better. I suffer from intrusive thoughts which have lessened during the pregnancy and if they do come, then I allow them to come and go again which is this hardest thing to do when you get a severe intrusive thought.
I don’t know what will happen as I move into motherhood, but I feel so lucky to have support around me with therapy, my perinatal psychiatrist, my closest and dearest friends and family. Even my pharmacist has become an amazing support to me as I pop each month for my prescription.
My thinking is that, stress and anxiety aren’t great for growing baby and I believe baby can sense Mum’s anxiety. Sometimes (in fact often) it’s unavoidable but therapy, medication, friends, reading books, hypnotherapy have all helped relieve me of feeling overwhelmed. I feel safe.
What have you found most challenging about pregnancy and what have you loved?
I’ve loved learning. It’s funny how much we don’t prepare ourselves until we are in a certain situation in life. Some people including my therapist and Mum were quite conscious that I don’t read too much but knowledge allows me to feel somewhat in control and reading a lot of positive pregnancy and birth stories has definitely helped me feel empowered. It’s so magical but also simply science!
I’ve loved all the appointments and scans and feeling baby move. I’ve loved my growing bump and feeling so many new sensations and symptoms, good and bad. Oh we get constipation now, oh we snore now, oh we can’t lay on our back without feeling sick now, oh our gums bleed now- it’s all fun hehe and when you are in it you just roll with it which is a “letting go” that I’ve enjoyed.
The first trimester was defitneily the most challenging part of pregnancy for me. I suffered pretty severely from nausea and fatigue during the first trimester. Most days I was bed or sofa bound and even found walking around the block too much. I felt like I went into isolation physically but also mentally. I just had to get through each day.
I was prepared for this in someway because I’ve suffered severely with my mental health but I wasn’t prepared for how unwell I felt and found myself on forums typing in “horrific first trimester advice?”. It was like hangover x 100, jet lag x 100, sea sickness x 100, fluey, exhaustion all rolled into one endlessly for 12 weeks. Again, you get by because what else can you do. I went through stages of beating myself up for feeling teary or that I couldn't cope because I realised how lucky I was to be pregnant but for a lot of women that first trimester really is horrific!
Did anything help with nausea and fatigue?
We tried everything. Dry crackers first thing in the morning, sickness wrist bands, ginger tea but to be honest I just slept and slept and slept. I tried to get some fresh air once a day. I wish I’d wrote more down during that time because it’s all a bit of a blur now but just taking a day at a time is all that really helps. I knew eating little and often helps but I had zero appetite and even lost weight during the first trimester which is quite common. I would scroll through the supermarket sections on Deliveroo and try to be inspired by something I’d want to eat which mainly ended up being cottage pies, spaghetti hoops, lasagnes. Food I loved when growing up. There wasn't a lettuce leaf or avocado in sight during those first 12 weeks believe me.
What clothes have been suitable without being too “maternity”?
I’ve mainly been pregnant throughout winter which has meant cosiness! I’ve opted for a lot of ribbed style trousers that stretch over the growing bump. I have this pair from LESET which are now in sale.
I’ll pair with oversized shirts or chunky knits. The Frankie Shop shirts are perfect for pre and post baby.
For movement and also for out and about, I’ve gone back to the trusty Lululemon Align Leggings paired with a baggy but stylish Tee such as ones from Ganni or Colorful Standard.
I thought I’d wear a lot more flowing dresses but I’ve actually been more drawn to co-ord style looks which show the tiniest bit of skin on the mid-drift and let the bump say hey! Reformation is great for them. This one would be perfect if you’re heading into Spring with your pregnancy.
For activewear, I loved the Girlfriend Collective Maternity Range- simple and chic and extra stretchy!
Check out a little look book I’ve created below but of course only buy new things you feel super necessary. A lot of what you have in your wardrobe will be suitable until you get to the third trimester and even then you could just live in trackies, leggings and PJs to be honest.
Accessories really help with feeling more put together even if you’re wearing a tracksuit, pair it with some gold hoops, an oversized blazer and a pair of your favourite trainers or sliders with socks and a statement bag.
Do you have any pregnancy/birth books you’d recommend?
The three I would recommend are:
“Birth is a safe and empowering experience”
This was the first book I read during my pregnancy and it was such a gentle and wonderful step into the world of hypno-birthing. There’s so much packed in here but it’s very readable and feels like a hug. It made me excited about my journey ahead and I’ll think I’ll read it again during my mat leave.
The Positive Birth Book by Milli Hill
“Was childbirth painful for you?” ‘No, no pain, but I know what the earth feels like making a mountain"'.
A little more in-depth than the above book but still very light hearted and relatable even though you’ve never done it before haha if that makes any sense. I loved the 14 phases of labour section and the birth planning section with the images, very interactive and easy to take on board. They also have a lovely section on a baby shower with a difference which I think a lot of you would love- little things like bringing each of your guests a candle to light when they know you are going into labour! How beautiful.
Effective Birth Preparation by Maggie Howell
“Don’t limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as your mind lets you” - Mary Kay Ash
A slightly more textbook style book but once you get into it it’s not as overwhelming as it might seem. I loved that it’s absolutely packed full of positive birth stories! Maggie Howell is also the course that our 1-1 hypno-birthing teacher took so that language and tracks were aligned with what we learnt in those sessions.
How was your trying to conceive journey?
This is something I don’t feel confident talking about as everyone is completely unique and we are all on our own little life paths. One thing I would say is that I was very relaxed, drinking and eating whatever I wanted and feeling extremely loved and supported by my partner.
Do you have a birth plan/preferences?
Many hehe! We have written our birth plan and I won’t share the whole slog here and I completely understand that it all might go tits up but we are opting for a birth centre birth. I want to feel like I am in a little nest with the lights low, music or meditations playing, lavender oil, perhaps in and out of the water bath or shower.
I want to let go, roar, dance, breathe, sleep, growl, hum and continue to remember that my body was made to do this.
Have you had any pain and how has Pilates helped?
Obviously I am bias but Pilates is honestly the best way you can move your body during pregnancy. We have that extra hormone relaxin which makes everything loose during pregnancy, like everything! Your joints, tissues etc, it doesn’t just target the cervix. As I’m quite hypermobile anyway, I’ve avoided over stretching but opted for a lot of glute and posture work using the bands.
I’ve started to get some pain in my sacrum and my pelvis now I am coming up to 37 weeks, I find myself walking with a wobble eep! So I am doing lots of pelvic tilts, release and stability work on my large stability ball and trying to avoid slouching on the sofa which is hard when that’s all you want to do.
You can find out more about Pilates during pregnancy and explore all my classes in the LMP Virtual Studio here.
You might not feel ready to come back to work after a few months, are you prepared for that?
I am so grateful and lucky that my job is flexible and I run my own business. It will allow me to dip in and out of work when I am ready. I feel like I know myself and I love love what I do so I have a feeling that after a few months, I will be craving getting on my mat, teaching my lovely clients and having some days where I feel like Lottie Murphy the Pilates teacher and business owner as well as Lottie the new mama. But yes perhaps I will find it unbearable to leave my baby or too overwhelming to even think about anything else and I’ll adapt and adjust depending on how I feel.
What are you doing to prepare for labour?
Before my wedding I took myself into a little bubble for a few weeks prior. I went off social media and I had lots of time alone reading fiction and organising my home and packing my wedding essentials; I took loads of baths and I meditated on the morning of my wedding and I felt so calm and ready, read my post about it here.
I read in a book recently that we prepare so much for our weddings and our house moves and moving jobs etc, like 18 months! And yet when it comes to bringing a human into this world, we have only 9 months but then usually we don’t start thinking about the actual labour and newborn baby part until about 20 weeks in.
So again, I’ve tried to just prepare and feel as knowledgeable and confident about labour as I can. We did a private course of hypno-birthing and I’ve read a lot of hypno-birthing books which has made the most impact on my thoughts around labour. It’s not at all “out there” or “hippy”, it’s science and hormones and psychotherapy. It makes complete sense.
I have a few weeks (maybe) off work and offline where I am going to take my puppy Lenny for walks outside, sit in coffee shops alone drinking hot chocolates and reading my books and I’ll probably binge some reality TV. And yes I am already in ultimate nesting mode and wanting to clear out every drawer and nook in the house.
I don’t feel fear, I don’t feel nervous. I feel excited to experience labour and birthing my baby. Every contraction and every breathe has a function and a purpose and will bring me closer to meeting my baby boy.